When you think you hear, and you pretend to know what you’re doing.

My previous blog was about how I believed that staying here at home was better than going to Ireland.
I prayed fervently over that decision and I honestly still didn’t really know what the Lord was saying to me.
I eventually made the decision based on what I believed about each place and where I needed to be in this season of my life.
I was scared of making the wrong decision, but to be honest since the decision was made I haven’t really given it a second thought.  I went on living my life here fully engaged with the life flowing around me and the people loving next to me.
Of course, Ireland, being a pure love of mine was thought of often.  My friends there and the life being spread all over that place.  But the decision I made to stay seemed to really be the only real option, after awhile.



I recently talked to my friend from Northern Ireland and asked him how everything in Encounter was going.
///Encounter being the main reason I would have gone to Ireland.////
He told me after this year they will no longer be taking anyone other than the staff of the church into the program.
So anyone outside of Ireland that applied was told they were not able to Join the Encounter program.
My heart stopped in that moment and I began to worship my God.
The verse about hearing and knowing your shepherds voice kept replaying over and over again in my head;


But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.”
John 10:2-5


If I would have continued pursuing the idea of going to Ireland and joining the Encounter program, it wouldn’t have worked out.  I would have had to stay home in the long run anyways.
It’s actually hilarious how surprised I was that I made the right decision and Jesus actually was deeply rooted in that decision.
He knew exactly where I needed to be and who I needed to be with.

In the moments where I think I hear the Lord’s voice and I have to pretend to know what i’m doing I’m just going to remember that I know the character of my God.  I know his footsteps and where he wants me to go in the long run.
I know that he works everything for good. 

I am not alone in the decisions I make and I will not be left out to dry.
My God is good, and my heart is filled.

One of the perks of staying was this man choosing to pursue me and love me like Jesus does.