Redefining rest.

You know what I hate doing?
Resting.
I do not rest well, I just get anxious.

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I like naps every now and again, I like watching a movie, I like drinking tea, I like doing nothing for a small amount of time.
But a whole day of rest is like my own personal torture.
Let me show you the definition of rest;
cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.

Rest is supposed to refresh, but I am not refreshed.
I am anxious, stressed, and annoyed that I am forced to do nothing.

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Today I told myself I was going to have a day of rest.
I turned off my phone, so I wasn’t available, and I woke up this morning ready to let myself relax.
I’m now laying in my bed annoyed and less relaxed than if I were being held against my will to watch a horror movie.

I painted earlier, that was fun.
I read a little bit, great.
I went on facebook, boring.
I searched for pictures to put in this blog, well done.
I went and got Culvers for my dad and I.

What the hell is a day of rest supposed to look like anyway?
I have this really romanticized version of it in my head, but once I get do actually pursuing it, I really dislike it.

My idea of rest must look different than other people’s.

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If the purpose of rest is restoration and refreshment then me laying in my bed all day and
ceasing communication with the outside world is wrong.
If rest means i’m not allowed to go to a coffee shop or take a run or walk through
the woods or have a deep conversation with someone, then I do not want rest.

I am refreshed when I come home from work and I’m tired and my feet hurt and
my best friend calls me to tell me about her day.
I am refreshed when I am able to drink coffee with a friend who needs advice, or just wants to laugh.
I am refreshed when I read the bible with someone and I am able to hear their input and observations on what we’re reading.
I am refreshed when I can lounge around in my sweatpants and order a pizza and drink wine with a sister who has had a long life and trials that haunt her.

My idea of rest has the common theme of enjoying it with others.
I, apparently, no matter how much I want to be, am not an introvert.
Other people refresh me;
their hearts, their words, their actions, they refresh my spirit.

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From now on when I tell myself I’m going to have a day of rest I’m going to call up a friend and ask if they want to get coffee.
Or maybe we could take a walk through the woods and talk about the trees and all they have seen.
Maybe they’ll tell me they want to take a road-trip to a different state and explore.
I want my days to be filled with people who have touched my life and have challenged me to be a better person.
I want at the end of my life to have an endless list of people who have inspired me, who have taught me, who have loved me and let me graciously love them in return.

My idea of rest is to love those around me, and spend time with them learning about every crease of their lives.

Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

-Mark 12:29-31

What do you need to redefine in your life?

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